{"id":25948,"date":"2019-03-17T21:12:53","date_gmt":"2019-03-17T20:12:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/astra.stinezink.dk\/?page_id=25948"},"modified":"2019-03-17T21:12:53","modified_gmt":"2019-03-17T20:12:53","slug":"slip-kontrollen","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/astra.stinezink.dk\/?page_id=25948","title":{"rendered":"Slip kontrollen"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Slip kontrollen<\/span><\/h1>\n

Da min \u00e6ldste datter skulle begynde i vuggestue, var det en sorg for mig.<\/span><\/p>\n

Jeg vidste, at hun ville f\u00e5 det godt. Og at det var s\u00e5dan, det m\u00e5tte v\u00e6re. For jeg skulle tilbage p\u00e5 arbejde, og det ville ogs\u00e5 blive godt for mig.
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Men fordi jeg var vant til at f\u00f8lge hvert et skridt, hun tog, var det en sorg for mig ikke l\u00e6ngere at vide, hvordan hun udviklede sig dag for dag. Blev hun passet kunne jeg jo h\u00f8re alt om hendes dag. Og jeg vidste godt, at det ville blive anderledes, n\u00e5r det var p\u00e6dagoger, som ogs\u00e5 havde mange andre b\u00f8rn at tage sig, der skulle fort\u00e6lle mig om hendes dag.
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Heldigvis var p\u00e6dagogerne flinke til at fort\u00e6lle, n\u00e5r jeg kom for at hente hende, og jeg v\u00e6nnede mig efterh\u00e5nden til ikke selv at have oplevet alt, hvad hun lavede.
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Det gik ok – lige til hun skulle i b\u00f8rnehave.
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Og senere i skole.
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Hver gang m\u00e5tte jeg give lidt mere slip p\u00e5 hende. F\u00e5 lidt mindre at vide om, hvordan dagen var g\u00e5et.
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Den st\u00f8rste udfordring i forhold til at give slip var helt sikkert, da hun var 6 \u00e5r og hendes far og jeg blev skilt. Da m\u00e5tte jeg for alvor acceptere, at der var mange huller i min viden om hendes liv, som jeg ikke fik udfyldt. Nu var det ikke l\u00e6ngere blot et sp\u00f8rgsm\u00e5l om timerne fra vi sagde farvel om morgenen til om eftermiddagen, hvor vi m\u00f8dtes igen. Nej nu var det 6 dage i tr\u00e6k.
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En evighed for mig!
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Senere blev de 6 dage sat ned til 4 dage, hvilket gjorde det lettere. Men det er stadig en sorg for mig at m\u00e5tte undv\u00e6re mine b\u00f8rn hver anden weekend. <\/span><\/p>\n

I dag er min datter en sk\u00f8n teenager, som har mere travlt med jobs, fritidsinteresser og veninderne end fort\u00e6lle mor om, hvordan dagen er g\u00e5et. Jeg fors\u00f8ger stadig at f\u00f8lge med, give slip og blot nyde hende (og hendes lilles\u00f8ster) s\u00e5 meget, jeg kan.<\/span><\/p>\n

Direkt\u00f8r for familien<\/span><\/h2>\n

M\u00e5ske har du behov for at vide, hvad der sker, n\u00e5r dine b\u00f8rn, er hos deres anden for\u00e6lder?<\/span><\/p>\n

Hvis du har v\u00e6ret vant til at v\u00e6re inde over alt, der har med b\u00f8rnene at g\u00f8re, kan det ogs\u00e5 v\u00e6re sv\u00e6rt at acceptere, at du ikke har kontrol over, hvad der foreg\u00e5r hos din eks. Du kan have det sv\u00e6rt med, at I ikke er enige om, hvorn\u00e5r b\u00f8rnene skal bruge cykelhjelm, skal i seng om aftenen, hvor meget slik de m\u00e5 spise eller hvad de m\u00e5 bruge gavepengene fra f\u00f8dselsdagen til.<\/span><\/p>\n

Det kan is\u00e6r g\u00f8re ondt, hvis du ikke er sikker p\u00e5, dine b\u00f8rn f\u00e5r den omsorg hos din eks, som du selv ville give dem.<\/span><\/p>\n

N\u00e6ste gang du m\u00e6rker uroen indeni, s\u00e5 pr\u00f8v at stoppe op.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sp\u00f8rg dig selv: Hvad er det v\u00e6rste der kan ske?<\/span><\/p>\n

Er der nogen, der kommer til skade? S\u00e5dan rigtig alvorligt? Er der reelt noget at bekymre sig for?<\/span><\/p>\n

Eller handler det snarere om, at din eks v\u00e6lger en 80% l\u00f8sning, mens du ville v\u00e6lge en 110% l\u00f8sning?<\/span><\/p>\n

M\u00e5ske er de 80% faktisk godt nok?<\/span><\/p>\n

Pr\u00f8v at m\u00e6rke efter: Reagerer du p\u00e5 mest p\u00e5, at du f\u00f8ler, man altid skal yde sit bedste? At b\u00f8rnene aldrig m\u00e5 lide nogen form for afsavn? At de altid skal have det bedste af det bedste? Is\u00e6r nu, hvor deres for\u00e6ldre er skilt, og det hele er s\u00e5 synd for dem?<\/span><\/p>\n

Pr\u00f8v at \u00f8ve dig i at fral\u00e6gge dig behovet for kontrol med denne \u00f8velse:<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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\n\tVed at slippe kontrollen kan du ogs\u00e5 slippe for mange frustrationer<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Kom godt igennem skilsmissen med min st\u00f8tte.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ring 30 26 55 03 og h\u00f8r hvordan jeg ogs\u00e5 kan hj\u00e6lpe dig. F\u00e5 20 min. gratis<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Slip kontrollen – \u00f8velse<\/span><\/p>\n

V\u00e6lg en opgave, som du ikke forbinder med f\u00f8lelser. Husarbejde er ofte et godt sted at \u00f8ve sig.<\/span><\/p>\n

S\u00e5 hvis du fx bruger meget lang tid p\u00e5 at g\u00f8re badev\u00e6relset rent, s\u00e5 pr\u00f8v at s\u00e6tte uret til at ringe efter nogle minutter. Stop reng\u00f8ringen og accept\u00e9r, at nu bliver der ikke gjort mere rent for denne gang.<\/span><\/p>\n

Form\u00e5let er, at du kun udf\u00f8rer opgaven 80%.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mind dig selv om at, at du er i en proces, hvor du fors\u00f8ger at give slip p\u00e5 at have kontrol, og at det er vigtigere end det skidt, du m\u00e5ske kommer til at irritere dig over bagefter. N\u00e5r du ser skidtet, kan du klappe dig selv p\u00e5 skulderen: Du \u00f8ver dig, du lader det ligge, du g\u00f8r det godt!<\/span><\/p>\n

Det er ikke altid muligt at g\u00f8re alting perfekt. Men mindre kan bestemt ogs\u00e5 g\u00f8re det!<\/span><\/p>\n

T\u00e6nk p\u00e5 at jo hurtigere du kommer igennem de praktiske opgaver – jo mere tid har du sammen med b\u00f8rnene. N\u00e5r du er enlig for\u00e6lder, s\u00e5 er tiden med b\u00f8rnene ekstra dyrebar – fordi du ikke har dine b\u00f8rn fuld tid.<\/span><\/p>\n

Jo mere du v\u00e6nner dig til, at tingene ikke er perfekte, jo mere vil du f\u00f8le dig i kontrol, n\u00e5r tingene ikke g\u00e5r lige efter dit hoved. Ogs\u00e5 n\u00e5r det er din eks, der ikke lever op til dine \u00f8nsker.<\/span><\/p>\n

Jeg h\u00e5ber, du f\u00e5r gl\u00e6de af min lille \u00f8velse. Den kan bane vejen for mindre frustration i dit liv!<\/span><\/p>\n

God forn\u00f8jelse!<\/span><\/p>\n<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Andre har ogs\u00e5 l\u00e6st:<\/span><\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Terapi er ikke et quick-fix.
\nTerapi er langtidsholdbart<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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At blive skilt er som at bestige et bjerg<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Overskrider du din gr\u00e6nse uden at vide det?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Slip kontrollen Da min \u00e6ldste datter skulle begynde i vuggestue, var det en sorg for mig. Jeg vidste, at hun ville f\u00e5 det godt. Og at det var s\u00e5dan, det m\u00e5tte v\u00e6re. For jeg skulle tilbage p\u00e5 arbejde, og det ville ogs\u00e5 blive godt for mig. Men fordi jeg var vant til at f\u00f8lge hvert …<\/p>\n

Slip kontrollen<\/span> Read More \u00bb<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-25948","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\nSlip kontrollen - undg\u00e5 frustrationer med denne simple \u00f8velse<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Har du sv\u00e6rt ved at slippe kontrollen med b\u00f8rnene, n\u00e5r de er hos din eks? 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